Rolling with it- the magic of flexible thinking.

"Sorry, bud, it's raining, so we can't go to the game today."  "I know you like the blue car, but a friend is playing with it today- why can't you take the red or the yellow one?" "Because there is an assembly, we won't go to art today. We will draw in class after."

Does the thought of conveying a change in plan to your child fill you with anxiety?  Then you may have some experience with a rigid thinker.  

Binary thinking (all black or white, all good or all bad) can affect all of us to different degrees and in different contexts.  In academics, kids need to be able to use a variety of skills or strategies, and to adjust using logic and problem solving.  In social situations, what works with one group is often unlikely to work in another.    Flexible thinkers learn to step back, reflect, and consider doing things in a new or different way- a complex skill!  

Not being flexible in thinking is like trying to shove a round peg in a square hole- repeatedly.

So what to do? 

In the short term, accommodate!  Use timers, reminders, visual schedules and representations to help support those transition times with concrete boundaries, emphasizing the predictable.  Social stories can help if you are able to anticipate an upsetting or novel event.  Anchors (like fidgets) and mindfulness practices can also help a child regain calm and deal with changes in routine.  


In the long term, teach, create opportunities for practice, and help your child be metacognitive about their mental flexibility!  There are strategies that can be used to develop flexible thinking- though brain imaging shows some individuals think differently and that switching tasks or perceptions can be much more difficult for them... the best path for you will depend on your child.

Check out links to articles on flexible thinking in the resources section.  

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